welcome to my twisted world...

Last Sunday, i was on my way home when this funny thing happened. I saw an old friend and he commented i still looked so "wholesome" and "innocent"... i know, i was as surprised as you are... when the shock wore off, i was like, What the F@?*#?!? what was he thinking???!! anyhow, as much as i project this "wholesome" image, i figure it won't last very long... i've been carrying this baggage of burden since the beginning of forever... and just like jen said, when it rains, it pours... not in a positive manner but lately, all that's been happening to me are the not so good ones... i dont know when it'll ever gonna stop... all the pain... all the longingness which i know will never be filled-up... i know things will never happen my way... and yes, i know, winning him really is out of the question now because i knew i already lost even when the fight hasn't began... it pains to be so inlove with a person yet you know you will never have him fully for yourself and yours alone... i know that he is trying his very best to reciprocate my love but still, it is never enough... painfully odd as it is, i am starting to accpet things as they are... i think i've gone blind... or numb for that matter.. i never want to think of the pain anymore nor the consequences of our acts... as long as we know that we have each other, it's enough for us to hang on...

happy birthday LOLA!!!!  

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